I should have Listened 'मैले सुनिन'

Generation pass by and people face get fade and we all disappear slowly, mum almost no one will get noticed if you exsistYou make your own way by declaring yourself by the self-made king and try to fade all them away.your tiny face will remain on a photo with some dried flowers hanging and no one will never care if you even need the fresh flower to make you feel better after you die.

I was just an innocent boy grown up from the middle-class family and never noticed what was like to be a part of loving family and caring.When you come home from school and you look for your mom but she was already on work and you eat whatever left behind from the morning.

watching tv wasn’t an option because there wasn’t any and even if I had I would not allow watching because of my cruelty parenthood.Once I was reading books and doing homework by listening radio then he came and broke my radio because he just didn’t like listening radio, it was a moment I felt like I was going to slap him and beat him badly but I was so desperate to calm down and follow his path.

cruelty was grown all over my village and every man of the house seems like following his trend and not stopping him from doing all this.My mom got beaten several moms almost every day and I used to be a listener and had to watch with pain in my heart.So many times when he beat her I thought I would kill him and save momfrom cruel man but I was just a child and could not do anything.

even after she got beaten up she still had to cook dinner for the whole family and feed them because if she does not cook then she will get beaten up again.She was desperately living a life of fear and boundary of cruelness.

it was a part of the year we had to grow corn in our field and he asked my mum to go with him it was just nearby my house and I could just see by standing from my front yard of house with picking my nose but I wasn’t one of that baby who always picks nose and wipes hands on pants.I  suddenly say he beat my mum with the sticks he used for an animal.It was two decade back and there wasn’t any technology to dig our field.

When I asked my mum she told me he beat her because she just missed some place to put corn on the field .As soon as I heard that I felt like I will kill him and I would leave the house but I never had that courage to leave a house.

I still remember he never care about his mum and he always yelled at her and never tried ti give any food.My mum always used to give m,y grandmum food by hiding .I cried and cried a lot but my mum always used to tell me you will be a successful man and you don’t have to face all of this bad behaviour but I felt like when do grow up and get success.

Time pass by and I was adult enough to explore the world then I went foreign country and started by study there,I never worked hard enough in my life but the day when I arrived in this land of opportunity I was just ready to do anything and do my best to make my life fruitful to give my mum better life.

I continued working and mean time I sent some money to my mum so she could buy things she like.she always had a dream to her my marriage with everyone on my family and have the happy life but I was young and I had already started to make the decision by myself .

One day she came in my contact and we talked for a while then disconnect but after disconnecting I kept looking her pic because I began to like her .I was busy with my daily life but I still had some moment to talk to her and smile.I smiled so many times even she says hi but sometimes I used to drink and sleep .drinking and sleeping was just a thing of life and I did.

Year pass by and I finally decided to go and see my family .I bought a ticket and went back home to see my family and especially her whom I loved more than anything and it was long distance relationship.Everyone asked me if I am ready to get married but I refuse and went to see her then we decided to get married .Time went so fast that felt like so may years but today I felt like I am living my life years back.

Everyone say women makes life beautiful but my life is becoming worse day by day.There are no any days without stress.At the start, it was all nice and beautiful but after some time she changed and ignored me a lot.If you love someone then you care about him but in my life, she probably have someone she seeks and things better for her but now our love is all gone.I still do and I will but love never goes further just by one side.

I had a hope that I will be a happy man ever but today she choose someone not me and she doesn’t care what I do and how I make her feel.Ignorance makes people hate you but I never hate her.That love I did to her nor will fade away.

It is very hard that someone you love doesn’t care about you and when she come home you just wait her come home and seek love but nothing and all you get are hatred and ignorance then the world will turn around 360 degrees.I thought about giving divorce so many times but I could not do because of my love for her but she doesn’t want to understand and doesn’t care.

If my love cooks anything then I will eat doesn’t matter what it is but when I cook for her she always complains about some bad word every day.I was waited and waited every day that she will change but everything has a limit and in my point of view, a limit is over.

why always you have to face hatred when you try to give love but nothing,I have my sickness so that I could not work and may she is trying to go away from me.

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